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2009년 12월 1일 화요일

BOSS and YOU

Difference between you and your boss

When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.

When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original.

When you please your boss, you're apple polishing.
When your boss pleases his boss, he's being co-operative.

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because he's overworked.

Employee's Funny letter Asking for a Raise

An employee sends the following letter to his boss asking for a raise....

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately.I think you $hould beunder$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company.I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,
$anket Nolan.










The next day, the employee recieved This letter of reply:









Dear NOlan,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad. I have NOthing more to add NOw.


You kNOw what I mean.

General Motors response to Bill Gates - awesome

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

"If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."


In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release Stating:
"If GM had developed technology like microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics
:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.


3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.


4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.


5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would ! run on only five percent of the roads.


6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation" warning light.


7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.


8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

(Read CTR-ALT-DEL)


9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.


10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off."

Beautiful Garages for Super Cars - Part 4


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<img src="http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/ab325/techcottage/car%20garages/awesomegarages48.jpg" /><a href="http://www.techcottage.blogspot.com"><br><b>Send Picture Scraps - Tech Arena</b></a>


<img src="http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/ab325/techcottage/car%20garages/awesomegarages49.jpg" /><a href="http://www.techcottage.blogspot.com"><br><b>Send Picture Scraps - Tech Arena</b></a>


<img src="http://i876.photobucket.com/albums/ab325/techcottage/car%20garages/awesomegarages50.jpg" /><a href="http://www.techcottage.blogspot.com"><br><b>Send Picture Scraps - Tech Arena</b></a>